HERE WE’RE GOING TO DISCUSS THE GREEN FLAGS THAT MIGHT EXIST!!!
INTRO
(Jamison, 2024) One of the brightest individuals in my life once taught me that we can either focus our attention on running away from what we fear (failure, being wounded by someone we care about), or we can channel that energy into running toward what we desire. She referred to this as “running from the bear” rather than “running toward what you want.” It is a mental transformation that we may achieve with effort and competence.
In relationship science, we frequently emphasize relational issues and obstacles (the bears). The One Love Foundation’s 10 symptoms of an unhealthy relationship are a straightforward and thorough attempt to identify the most significant of these “red flags.” I want everyone to know about them because they advise us when to leave or seek help. However, understanding what to run toward in a relationship is also vital.
These ten green flags represent the beginning of the discourse:
Trust: It is the cornerstone of all intimate relationships. We must trust that when we totally express ourselves, talk about our greatest fears or regrets, or become physically close, the other person will treat us with love and compassion. Trust is a feeling that must be backed up by actions. It is crucial to be aware of the occasions when someone demonstrates their trustworthiness through their actions or not
Respecting boundaries: Everyone has things that fear, disturb, or anger them. We have distinct preferences for spending time together and separately. Partners who listen to us when we establish a boundary and alter their behavior (without complaining and pushback) demonstrate a crucial level of respect for us.
Communication: It is essential to be able to conduct unpleasant talks with your spouse without losing your cool. Or, at the very least, you must be able to lose your cool, recover, and try once more with good intentions. On your best day, communicating effectively comes naturally. Still, someone who can navigate a talk about complex emotions, challenging challenges, or personal faults with transparency and compassion is a good sign. Importantly, people may improve at this over time. It is a skill. Even if someone is not a great communicator, demonstrating an eagerness to try and develop over time might be a good sign.
Regulating emotions: We can’t always control the emotions that come our way, but with experience and effort, we can learn to moderate our reactions to strong emotions. In mature relationships, we may reasonably hope our partners will feel rage without lashing out, demonstrate stress or anxiety management abilities, and seek professional help when self-regulation becomes impossible. Someone who has developed skills and techniques for dealing with challenging emotions has the ability to be a strong partner, even if they are suffering.
Independence: As a relationship grows, we frequently become increasingly interdependent, relying on one another for emotional support and assistance with everyday duties. That is anticipated and typical. However, a partner must maintain some level of independence. Partners that can balance closeness with time alone or with friends are ideal. Having a career they enjoy, other hobbies, and relationships with others all contribute to a better foundation for the love tie.
Responsibility: Adults accept responsibility for themselves and their actions. In a relationship, this indicates being prepared to apologize for mistakes and accepting responsibility for your role in arguments.
Laughter: When asked what they seek in a love relationship, practically everyone mentions “funny” or “sense of humor.” I have always felt that most of us do not need to be in a relationship with a comic; we simply want to laugh with our partners. Laughing at life together is fantastic medicine, especially when it helps to relieve stress in tough situations—someone who can laugh with you but never at you is a radiant green flag.
Growth: The finest partnerships help us improve. Psychologists have dubbed this the Michelangelo phenomenon. Being with others teaches us new skills and perspectives on the world. This pertains to the most essential green flag: like who you are when you’re with someone. Do they bring the best out of you? Do you sense yourself developing and transforming into the best version of yourself? This does not imply having a gym companion who acts as your taskmaster. It does imply having new abilities and views to bring into your life that are useful, beneficial, and fulfilling.
Positive regard: In every engagement with our partners, we can choose to give them the benefit of the doubt or highlight their shortcomings and failures. In healthy relationships, both partners employ positive regard (assuming the best in others) as their default setting. On our darkest days, we need our partners to show us some grace rather than capitalizing on our bad mood or caustic tone. A major caution here is that we must analyze our relationships honestly and avoid providing them favorable feedback whenever they are ill-treating us.
Collaboration: Couples face several issues and obstacles during their lives. No matter how strong your relationship or how good your communication skills are, you will have challenging and even life-changing talks. Look for someone who tackles those occasions (large and little) with a sense of collaboration and partnership. Problems are considerably easier to tackle when approached as a team: you and I are up against the problem, not each other.
The principle of Assembly Required is that strong connections are built, not discovered. This list is not a quiz to determine if your mate is excellent or bad. Instead, think of each green sign as a scale that ranges from extremely powerful to very weak. We all have the ability to develop, adapt, and improve in the areas we struggle with.
As long as your spouse treats you with love, kindness, and respect, focus your attention on these green flags and begin sprinting toward them together. (Jamison, 2024)
KEY POINTS
In relationships, we frequently focus on avoiding red flags, but we must equally be aware of green signs.
These green flags provide a framework for developing successful connections that promote individual well-being.
Seek someone you can trust, who will help you grow, respect your limits, and make you laugh.
When you’re together, seek a general sense of good regard and teamwork.
Read More: Jass Insights
Yes, I know, this matter a lot even though Im not married… xdd
I would prefer green flags instead of red one’s.