What Exactly is a ‘Situationship’?

You don’t enter a “situationship” anticipating it to lead to profound love.

Let’s discuss their advantages and disadvantages.

You probably have heard the word “situationship” used in dating circles these days. It is not about dating Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino from the reality program Jersey Shore. No, a situationship is a romantic or sexual connection that isn’t clearly defined and doesn’t require any kind of commitment. The question is whether being in a situationship is a positive or negative thing. And, of course, it depends on the circumstances.

It is unlike a booty call, which is a one-time or occasional let’s-have-sex activity rather than a relationship. It’s also not a friends-with-benefits relationship, because that is clearly defined, unless you’re not sure what the perks are. In contrast, in a situational relationship, one or both partners are unsure of what is going on and what to expect.

What to do?

Depending on your perspective, such a circumstance may look like the best thing since sliced bread, death by a thousand slices, or something in between. A situationship can be excellent if you:

• Want to date other people? You can have it both ways. Nobody can accuse you of cheating since the retort may be, “Cheating on what, exactly?”
• Don’t want the burden of a true relationship: So you have to do things for the other person in a relationship? If you don’t have the time or energy right now, or if that isn’t your thing, a situationship might be right for you.
• Want to get to know each other without any pressure: Perhaps the situation is only temporary. Perhaps it takes time and a relaxing environment free of expectations for you to warm up to another person.
• Fear commitment: If phrases like “marriage,” “forever,” and “one and only” give you hives, being uncommitted may be the best option.
• Can’t decide about the other individual. Again, this might be a temporary situation. Perhaps you like features of could-potentially-be-my-snookums but want to see more to determine whether he or she is exclusive relationship material for you. Of course, you shouldn’t stay in this holding pattern indefinitely. If you still can’t decide after ten years, it’s possible that it isn’t there.
• Desire to utilize the other individual: In addition to a loving or caring role, it might be for sex, companionship, a certain lifestyle, social connections, career progress, or any other reason.
• Therefore, you may have more freedom and flexibility in a situationship than in a defined partnership. However, there are significant drawbacks—I can’t lie—a situationship may be difficult if you:Don’t know what you want: You essentially want to sample from the buffet without paying the entire price.
• I don’t have time to screw around: You may not be in a situation or stage of life where you are willing to invest your time in something that is unlikely to succeed. Knowing if someone has the potential to be a permanent companion requires seeing their loyalty and commitment, which cannot be evaluated in a situational relationship.
• If you don’t like the concept of the other person being with other people, just wait till you see them flirting, playing about, or even having sex with others. Regardless of what the individual says, remember these three words: always use protection.
• Want the comfort, constancy, and dependability of a committed relationship: Do not deceive yourself. A situationship will not provide you with the same benefits as a committed relationship, no matter how many times the other person says that you are soulmates. Can you cope with the inherent unpredictability and probable stress of being in an ill-defined situation? There will also be practical problems, such as what to do if you need a devoted “plus one” for certain work and social activities.
• Want a stronger emotional connection? Don’t deceive yourself. A situational relationship may only go so far and as deep emotionally.
• Want to establish a serious relationship but the other person does not? If you ask for exclusivity and the other person responds, “Let’s have something uncommitted and ill-defined with no real timeline,” you’ve got your answer.
• Don’t want to have a committed relationship when the other person does: Sting once sang, “If you love someone, set them free.” That is, if you are certain that you will never love that person as much.

How does it work???

A situationship can only function if both persons are on the same page and truly want the situationship. There must be regular, clear, and honest communication since things will alter once one person desires more.Be honest with yourself and one another. Can you both manage this situation? The sole certainty in a situationship is that nothing is promised, which may be acceptable in your circumstances. But don’t go into one expecting it to turn into something bigger. After all, the situation may not ever alter.

Key points

• A situationship is an undefined romantic or sexual relationship that doesn’t involve any type of commitment.
• Pros of such a situation include freedom, flexibility, and the lack of responsibility and pressure.
• Cons include uncertainty, wasted time, and the lack of consistency, loyalty, and deeper connection.
• A situationship can work only if both parties are on the same page and actually want the situationship.

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Reference & citation

MBA, B.Y.L.M.D. (2024) ‘You don’t get into a ‘situationship’ expecting it to evolve into deep love.,’ Psychology Today, 9 August. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-funny-bone-to-pick/202408/what-is-a-situationship-here-are-the-pros-and-cons.